Denver 2022 day 5: May 8- The Ugly Monkey’s Treacherous Path

We started this day brining Abuelita to the local church for mass
 
Like everything else in Colorado, the pace was MUCH slower than we’re used to near New York.  

However, there is one thing that does not vary with the change in location: 

the length of time before small children get bored in church. 

They all broke in a wave WAY before the final blessing. 

This means the rest of the country’s pace isn’t innate, It is learned behavior.
 
Luckily, calling all of the Mothers to the front into a crowd to dispense blessings (and pathogens, I suppose) happened mid-mass.
 
The host was stale and Anabelle and I gave it the lowest rating possible.
“Zero stars, would not eat here again.”

 
Speaking of low ratings, he said, shoveling on the foreshadowing- 

We were then very excited for our trip to get the normally outstanding Buffalo Burgers and sides at El Rancho Brewing Company. Pigeon was dancing and we were on our way. Siri pointed out a dreadful accident on the highway we usually take and suggested an alternate route that would only take half the time.
 
Either she got more deeply into the local herbs than usual considerable amount, or she completely lost any signal and guessed directions for the Ugly Monkey to take on the mountain roads. We ended up on a horrible, tiny, cliff sided dirt road winding through the peaks.  It was roughly one and a quarter Ugly Monkeys wide at its thickest sections. Pigeon had stopped dancing.
 
I’m pretty sure it’s the same mountain pass that she put us on one of the first times we went to El Rancho and she took us on an herb inspired detour when the place was in sight.
 
Siri gave up completely when we finally (if shakily) reached town, but we remembered where the place was and made it to the parking lot on our own.
 
There we met several other cars full of people with reservations. 

That is, we met the people, not the cars. I shouldn't have to explain this stuff. 

They were all in the parking lot, because a sign on the door said El Rancho was closed due to lack of staff.

 
Reminder:
They took many reservations online for this day because…
IT WAS MOTHER’S DAY!
 
I did follow my reservation link intending to leave an angry write up…
However:
A) I didn’t have to because there were over a dozen people the same thing happened to.
And
B) I couldn’t because they shut down comments.

 

This left us rather gutted while sitting in the parking lot. Rosa recovered first (it was her turn) and started looking for the “Game” named place we found on a previous time El Rancho was closed.
(That time was for a wedding. We did not have reservations that time…which is why we made them this time.  

Not that I’m bitter or anything.)

(Later finding- There was an article in the Denver post from August I found when looking for a relavant link to put in the above paragraph titled "How Evergreen's Famed El Rancho Completely Unraveled" and comments on their Facebook site about people who had wedding receptions cancelled without notice or notification. Therefore I feel silly being bitter or complaining about our minor issue in comparison, and will stop now.)

 
Rosa did find a place called “Illegal Burger.” It was a chain like Five Guys. We vaguely remembered pulling into the lot as we found the “Game” place last time and giving it a pass. This time we were far too fried and hungry. Plus it was Mother’s Day and we had called ahead and were told they had empty tables.
 
It was a rousing success!

Huzzah!

Rosa got a burger with a gluten free bun, toppings and the elusive guaranteed gluten free fries- plus a strawberry milkshake.
 
Anabelle got a shake too with her Black Bean burger she raved about. I was equally happy with my grilled chicken. The woman we talked to on the phone was just about holding down the fort on her own and doing an amazing job. We made sure to tip her well.
 
It was a fortuitous finding that left us full and happy as we left.
Luckily, I reached the Ugly Monkey first on our exit, since we were so confused and disoriented, I appear to have left my door open the whole time we ate.

I did lock the car as we walked to the restaurant. There should really be a feedback noise that indicates, "Yes the door is locked but it is also open, you fool."
Shhhh.
Please don’t tell my family, they were stressed out enough that day.
 
We drove back toward Dinosaur Ridge.
ON THE HIGHWAY!
 
Happy again, Pigeon danced all the way to Dinosaur Ridge, which Anabelle described as a “Gold Mine” of license plates.
 

It was a little colder than it looked leading Anabelle to borrow my Dad’s famous Mickey jacket. We started in the gift shop, Anabelle picked out some “worry pebbles” for her upcoming Aquarium return, and we began the hike.
 
As soon as we hit the hill and the sun hit us, Dad’s jacket went into the back pack.
 

Anabelle used the same joke twice on the trek, which I felt was unfair.
Both when I pointed out the awe I had at the age of the oldest fossils we were seeing, and pointing out that we should watch Walking with Dinosaurs and the related series when we got home, she stated:
“You saw it live.”

 
Nice.

 
There was one location which I don’t think had an identification card last time…
The first Raptor track found in Colorado! 

Cool! 

Rosa insisted on getting a picture sitting on a rock with the sunset behind us, which was almost completely bleached out by that sunset. 

We take that picture every time we go there. In fact, we always take the same pictures on this hike… because we’ve yet to make a Colorado photo album. Maybe this time.

It would be nice to have one. 

Anabelle decided to take many artsy photos when Rosa and I posed. By this, she meant she would take pictures, close up, of one of my feet. I returned the favor

We reached the end “actual dinosaur bones” section. Due to the decision of two other family members who shall remain nameless, we did not cross the road to the other little shop and museum.
 

On the way back up, a touristy looking man stopped us to ask if there was anything worthwhile to see in the upcoming area and how much of the walk was left. I gave him a detailed explanation of the amazing fossils a short distance away, and pointed to the end of the walk. He seemed completely unimpressed with the sights of the remainder of Dinosaur Ridge or what he had seen before.
 
As he went to the last area, and we passed prehistoric magnificence for a second time on the way back, Anabelle had some specific thoughts about this man, expressed thusly:
“Sir, why are you here?
You do not have the spirit of this place how did you make it this far?
*pause*
People baffle me.”
 

We had to stop for gas on the way home (After an embarrassing bit where I couldn’t find the gas cover lever in the car…because there wasn’t one.)
Not only did I get to pay for it, and pump it myself, 

I got to watch commercials on the pump while I did.
New Jersey is awesome.
 
Anabelle and I had some tasty stuffed salmon Titi got for dinner, and then it was movie time again.
Continuing several trends, Titi Luzma picked San Andreas.
It continued trends by featuring the Rock, and Mr. Fantastic from the original FantasticFour films. Plus it had Carla Gugino, the first Silk Specter from Watchmen.
There was also about the fourth helicopter crash we’d seen in as many days.
At some point we watched Green Lantern, which had one of them. We don’t remember when. It is not that memorable of a film. It was still cool seeing stuff I'd read in comics my whole life on the big screen. Thought it probably would have been better if they didn't try to jam in all of them at once.
 
San Andreas was written by Carlton Cuse of Brisco County Junior fame. (At least, in our family that’s where his fame is from.)  
 
As with all of the Rock’s older films, it was dopey fun. Anabelle and I had extra credit entertainment pointing out all the ridiculous inaccuracies in the science displayed.

And not only geology, but physiology, architecture, fluid mechanics...and physics in general.
They weren’t quite as many as on Fox News, but they were still plentiful.
 
Downstairs we planned for the rest of the week, did some preliminary Disney Meal planning and read the Disney menus.
 
In case I haven’t mentioned it, we love Disney…
And food…
And Disney Food.

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