George Awards: They're Always Talking About How It's a Big War Out there

Warning

This post contains bad, foul, filthy and unacceptable language - the words that “will curve your spine, grow hair on your hands and maybe, even bring us, God help us, peace without honor.”

This is not a post for children.  Kids, take a hike.

This is also not a post for those adults who are offended by this type of language.  Do yourself a favor, and go read some of my cute stuff before moral outrage can kick in.

Just about everything else on this blog is clean…Stupid sometimes, but clean.

End of Warning.

Its time to continue this year's  George Awards. For today's selection a special citation to one of the original winners on "The Shit List" that was an inspiration for the awards in the first place.

2000's The Replacements.

"I've seen monkey shit fights at the zoo more organized than this!" is a phrase I use often in both  my personal and professional life. 

However, there were many other George Award worthy moments in that film deserving of recognitions.  Four (plus one) of these are double use of literal and symbolic profanity. 

How about that? The George Awards are still educational!

 Before the pairs, I would be remiss if I ignored this moment any longer.

I'm not sure how I could miss the spectacular line uttered by Ryhs Ifans of "the Lizard" fame, here playing Nigel "the Leg." After precisely setting up one of the striking players in position during the bar fight he delivers an epic kick to the face with the line.

"Let's play football, bitch!"

For the first literal and figurative pair...a couple of shits:

Jumbo (Ace Yonamine) catching the tipped pass, yelling "Holy shit!" (with Jamal throwing in a "Haul ass round boy!" for good measure) and then repeating that phrase over and over again while trundling towards a touchdown was not only outstanding on its own, but also led to the non-profane - but 100% in character for John Madden - moment talking about the "fat guy spike" and the "fat guy dance."

Keanu Reeves as Shane Falco gets a quiet one for the literal reference when he's showing his boat to Annabelle (Brooke Langdon). 

Falco- “See that new cabin cruiser? The big one with the satellite dish?

Annabelle- “Yeah?”

Falco- “I'm the old houseboat next to it covered in sea gull shit.”

For the other literal/ figurative moments, we return to the double meanings of "ass" with a triple play. (Not counting Jamal's previously referenced instruction.)

I'm sure the cheerleaders from the Pussycat Bar could have made it onto at least one other George Award list, but here it's the exasperated Mark Robert Ellis as the San Diego head coach with two reactions to their field side performance that led his entire offense into a false start, and then an interception:

"That's bullshit!!

One of the girl's slapped the other girl in the ass there Jimmy! 

You're killing me!"

and

"Stop them from shaking their asses for two minutes!"

The start to the above mentioned bar brawl was facilitated by the awesome all the way through the film Murphy (David Denman) and how the team rallied around him.  He writes a note to Shane concerning the striking players giving him shit:

"There's one good thing about being deaf: 

it makes it easy to ignore the assholes."

His sign language follow up, with Falco still narrating, 

"You...

Asshole" 

gives it extra punch.

However, the most bad ass moment of the film goes to Shane Falco again. For a different kind of awards it would be the "Pain heals, chicks did scars, glory lasts forever," speech. However for the George Awards it can only be the play he calls when returning to lead the team against Dallas after half time, and the ensuing fracas thereafter:

"Kick ass on one!"

Come back next week for a movie I was so surprised I didn't praise already I only learned I didn't when I tried to link back to it in last year's awards and found nothing to reference.

Every body got that?

Good, now one of you explain it to me.