On Kirk’s opening interaction with the
Teenaxi:
Kirk- “My name is Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the United Federation of Planets. I am appearing before you as a neutral representative of the Fibonan Republic…”
Anabelle- “Throwing out the ‘Tiberius’ right at the start!”
[Note- Watch all the bloopers for this series of films, but this scene especially.]
…
*He is attacked by the tiny muscle-bound creatures and beamed up with several still clinging on*
Kirk- “I ripped my shirt again.”
Anabelle- “What…
a surprise.”
…
*Kirk brings back the McGuffin that will be important later*
Spock- “Captain, did you manage to broker a treaty with the Teenaxi?”
Anabelle- “Spock’s hair is atrocious in this movie.
Just thought I’d mention it.”
On the opening Captain’s Log while Kirk
is passing through the ship:
Kirk- “Captain's log, Stardate 2263.2. Today is our 966th day in deep space, a little under three years into our five-year mission. The more time we spend out here, the harder it is to tell where one day ends and the next one begins…”
Anabelle- “This one is high key a…”
*The communications officer is shown*
Anabelle- “Uhura!!! yeah!!!”
*pause*
… a diary entry.”
Kirk- “… The ship aside, prolonged cohabitation has definitely had effects on interpersonal dynamics. Some experiences for the better, and some for the worse. As for me, things have started to feel a little episodic…”
Anabelle- “Ha. Ha.”
On Bones celebrating Jim’s birthday:
McCoy- “I wanted to have something appropriate for your birthday.”
Kirk- “That's in a couple days. You know I don't care about that.”
McCoy- “I know. I know you don't like celebrating it on the day because it's also the day your Pa bit the dust. I was being sensitive.”
Anabelle- “Thanks for that.”
…
Kirk- “A year older than he ever got to be. He joined Starfleet because he...
he believed in it.
I joined on a dare.”
McCoy- “You joined to see if you could live up to him. You spent all this time trying to be George Kirk and now you're wondering just what it means to be Jim. Why you're out here.
*raises glass*
To perfect eyesight and a full head of hair.”
*intercom beeps*
Kirk- “Kirk here.”
Sulu- “Captain, approaching Yorktown base.”
Kirk- “I'm on my way, Mr. Sulu.
Let's keep this birthday thing under wraps, huh?”
McCoy- “Yeah, you know me. Mr. Sensitive.”
Anabelle- “I love you, Doctor McCoy.”
On approaching the Lexington station:
Anabelle- “This is pretty.
Wooow!”
On a notification:
Vulcan delegate- “Excuse me. Commander Spock? May we have a moment of your time?”
Anabelle- “Sad times.”
Rosa- “Why?”
Anabelle- “Watch the movie.”
…
Spock- “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Live long and prosper.”
Vulcan Delegate- “Live long and prosper.”
*Screen in his hand shows Spock Prime and 2230.06 - 2263.02.”
Rosa- “Awww…. Spock.”
On Kirk’s dress uniform jacket:
Anabelle- “Ooh, he’s got his fancy outfit on to meet the Admiral.”
On the Enterprise leaving the Lexington
station as compared to “The Motion Picture:”
Anabelle- “Notice how fast they’re driving out…
I’m just saying.”
On the Enterprise being attacked by the
cloud of smaller ships:
Rosa- “Just leave!”
Anabelle- “They can’t.”
*The ship takes a huge blast of damage*
Rosa- “OOOH NOO!”
Kirk- “Why the hell aren't we moving?”
Sulu- “I can't engage the warp drive, sir!”
Kirk- “Scotty, I need warp now!”
Scotty- “I cannae, sir! The nacelles,”
Anabelle- “I hate that I know that name so much.”
Scotty- “They've...They've gone!”
Rosa- *quiet* “oh!”
*ships are smashing into the Enterprise walls*
Anabelle- “AAAH! Bad bad bad bad!”
Chekov- “Sir, I have hull breaches in levels 12 to 15, 6, 9, 31 and 21, sir.”
Anabelle- “AAAAAHHH!!”
Rosa- “Oh my God!”
Anabelle- “This is so bad!”
*Spock runs into the attackers*
Spock- “I have identified the individual who appears to be leading the attack party. He infiltrated the archive vault and removed the artefact from our mission on Teenax.”
Kirk- “Hold your distance until... Spock! Spock!
Anabelle- “Spock died again!”
Kirk- “You two, with me. Sulu, you have the conn.”
Anabelle- “Yeah! He’s ready.
Notice how he put his hand on the side of the arm rest,
so he doesn’t shoot the crewman into space.”
*As the shoot out on the Enterprise continues Anabelle alternates between:
“AAAHH!”
“Woo hoo!”
And
“Bang bang bang!”
On Krall’s fleet’s final attack on the
Enterprise:
Krall- “Cut its throat.”
Anabelle- “That’s not bad at all.”
*The section holding on the secondary hull is broken off, ejecting many crew into space*
Rosa- “OH!
They’re all dead. Ooh no!”
On Kirk running to separate the saucer
while carrying the McGuffin:
Kirk- “We've got to get you guys to an escape pod. Go. Go! Ensign Syl, I need your help.”
Syl- “Yes, sir.”
Anabelle- “Ensign Syl! Girl Boss Queen!”
…
*Kirk runs to separate the saucer still carrying the McGuffin case*
Rosa- “Why didn’t he hide the thingy?”
Anabelle- *bluffing well* “He’s got a lot to think about at the moment.”
Me- *bluffing poorly* “What thingy?”
On Uhura separating the saucer and being
sealed off:
Anabelle- “Uhura no!”
*It separates*
“Weeeeeeee!”
*Krall is isolated from the main hull, and finds the McGuffin case is empty”
Anabelle- “Ha Ha!"
Rosa- *Looks questioningly at Anabelle*
Anabelle- “I lied”
Rosa- “I knew.”
Anabelle- “I wonder why?
*Looks back at movie*
Interesting Enterprise design feature.
How come you have to separate the saucer from 'not the saucer' part of the ship?”
On the saucer crashing:
Kirk- “How many of the crew are still aboard the saucer?”
Sulu- “None. But if I'm reading this correctly, the intruders are taking them.”
Chekov- “Keptin, we are caught in the planet's gravity. We cannot pull avay.”
Kirk- “Get to your Kelvin Pods.”
Anabelle- “I forgot they’re called ‘Kelvin Pods.’
Imagine being in heaven and learning they named escape pods after the ship you blew up in.”
Sulu- “Yes, sir.”
Anabelle- “Sulu is freaking out again.”
*the crew is all out and the saucer section smashes into a mountain*
Anabelle- “Enterprise really cannot catch a break.
Every movie they be blowing it up.
*pause*
Good thing this is a Class M planet…again.”
On the film in general:
Anabelle- “I love this movie.
I don’t understand why people don’t like it.
It’s so good.”
On Krall interrogating the crew:
Krall- “What is your name?”
…
Uhura- “I am Lieutenant Nyota Uhura of the U.S.S. Enterprise. And you have committed an act of war against the Federation.”
Anabelle- “YEAH! Slay!”
Krall- “Federation! Federation is an act of war.”
Uhura- “You attacked us.”
Anabelle- *as Krall* “Whaaaat? Me?
Nooooooooo.”
On Spock and McCoy crashed together in
the alien ship:
Anabelle- “Bestie time!”
Me- “But I thought…”
Anabelle- “No, they’re not THE Besties. But they are besties.”
*There is a GIANT metal shard sticking out of Spock’s side*
McCoy- “My God, Spock.
God, Sit down over here.
Okay. Okay, sit. Easy. Okay. Now, just try and relax.
You're gonna be okay.”
Anabelle- “This is fine.”
Spock- “The forced optimism in your voice suggests that you are trying to elicit a sense of calm in order to...”
McCoy- “Oh, cut the horses**t.”
Spock- “Doctor, I fail to see how excrement of any kind bears relevance on our current situation.”
McCoy- “What the hell are you doing?”
Spock- “We must keep moving, Doctor.”
McCoy- “Spock, this thing's punctured your iliac region.”
Spock- “Time is a critical factor.”
McCoy- “That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you. Look, if I can't take this out, you're gonna die. Okay? If I take it out and can't stop the bleeding, you're gonna die.”
Spock- “I can see no appeal in either option.”
McCoy- “Believe it or not, neither can I.
So, if I remember correctly, the Vulcans have their hearts where humans have their livers.”
Anabelle- “This Doctor McCoy knows Vulcan anatomy cause he’s a slay king.
He is also wearing the pinky ring like the real Doctor McCoy which I’ve noticed since the first one but forgot to say something about it.”
Me- “Karl Urban made Leonard Nimoy cry because he did such a good job reminding him of his old friend.”
Anabelle and Rosa- “Awwwww… Why did you tell us that?”
…
McCoy- “Okay. All right, Spock, I just got one question. What's your favorite color?”
Spock- “I fail to see the relevance.”
*Bones yanks the shrapnel and cauterizes the wound*
Spock- “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
McCoy- “Yeah. They say it hurts less if it's a surprise.”
Spock- “If I may adopt a parlance with which you are familiar,
I can confirm your theory to be horse… s**t.”
Anabelle- “I love you, Spock!”
On Scotty climbing out of his torpedo
and meeting some folks:
Anabelle- “I don’t know why they changed the uniforms, but I really like these.
I mean…I liked the others too.”
*Scotty is attacked and saved by the white and black faced alien woman*
Anabelle- “Jaylah! Yaaaaay!!!”
Scotty- “You're no with those bastards that killed my ship, are you?”
Jaylah- *spits forcefully on the ground*
Anabelle- “I love her.”
On Chekov and Kirk finding the saucer:
Anabelle- “Ooh, they have their ‘oh no the ship is blowing up’ suits on.”
On Sulu and Uhura leading the escape:
Keenser- *sneezes acid on the lock*
Sulu- “That is one heck of a cold.
Uhura- “Nice job, Keenser.”
Sulu- “All right, we got about fifteen minutes until the next guard rotation. Come on.”
Anabelle- *whispers* “THE BESTIES”
*Crosses fingers*
…
Sulu- “He's got Starfleet data files, ship logs, including the Enterprise.”
Uhura- “He's been watching us this whole time.”
*Huge squad of guards shows up*
Anabelle- “Bad.”
On Kirk and Chekov escaping the saucer
through the viewscreen into what would be the vacuum of space normally:
Anabelle- “That was… interesting.”
Me- “You mean that it took only three hand phaser blasts to take out that window?”
Anabelle- “Maybe it was already cracked.”
Me- “Yeah it took a lot of damage in the crash.”
Anabelle- “One would hope.”
On Krall’s attack plan:
Sulu- “You're going to attack Yorktown.”
Krall- “Millions of souls from every Federation world holding hands. It's a perfect target.”
Anabelle- “Yeah… Also, not a great place to live.”
Uhura- “You're wrong. There is strength in unity.”
Krall- “The strength of others, Lieutenant, is what has kept me alive.”
*Krall drains the life force out of two upsidedown crew members*
Anabelle- “He’s doing some weird thing…”
*The scene changes*
Anabelle- “Anyway.”
On Spock sharing the bad news with
Bones:
Spock- “Ambassador Spock has died.”
McCoy- “Oh Spock, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what that must feel like.”
Rosa- “I’m so sorry you died.”
Spock- “When you've lived as many lives as he, fear of death is illogical.”
Anabelle- “Yeah, because of that one time he actually died…”
Spock- “I want to live as he did.
That is why I decided to redirect my efforts and continue his work on New Vulcan.”
McCoy- “You're leaving Starfleet? Well, what did Jim have to say about that?”
Spock- “I could not find the time to tell him.”
McCoy- “Well, I can tell you he's not gonna like that.
Hell, I don't know what he'd do without you. I mean, me on the other hand, I'd throw a party.”
Spock- *Laughs*
Rosa- “Um…he’s smiling. That’s not good.”
Anabelle- “’Cause he’s messed up.”
On walking into a trap:
Kirk- “Well... I guess you could say I've got a good nose for danger.”
*They are encased in solid smoke*
Chekov- *Shoots Kirk a look*
Anabelle- *Russian accent* “Hey, Vanna say that again Keptin?”
On the discussion once Scotty tells Kirk
they’re on the USS Franklin, formerly commanded by Captain Edison:
Kirk- “One of the first heroes of Starfleet. How the hell did his ship end up here?”
Scotty- “There's a lot of theories, sir. Surrendered to the Romulans.
Keptured by a giant green space hand…”
Anabelle- *Elbows me* “WOOOOOOOOO!!!”
On Bones and Spock calling the crew:
McCoy- “McCoy and Spock to Enterprise crew. Come in, Enterprise crew. Anyone. Come on, Spock. Come on, you can make it.”
Anabelle- “YAY! The noise!
Beep be deep be deep boop boop”
Spock- “Leaving me behind will significantly increase your chances of survival, Doctor.”
McCoy- “Well, that's damn chivalrous of you, but completely out of the question.”
Spock- “It is imperative that you locate any surviving crew.”
McCoy- “And here I was thinking you cared.”
Spock- “Of course I care, Leonard.”
Anabelle- “Aww, Hitting him with a Leonard!”
Spock- “I always assumed my respect for you was clear.
The dialogue we have had across the years has always...”
McCoy- “It's okay, Spock. You don't have to say it.”
Rosa- “I love you!”
McCoy- “Well, at least I won’t die alone.”
*Spock beams away, leaving him to face the aliens that just arrived*
McCoy- “Well, that's just typical. Come on, you bastards!”
Anabelle- “I love him so much.”
On the big three back together on the
Franklin:
Kirk- “All right. Lie down. Come on. There you go.
How are we gonna get out of this one, Spock?
We've got no ship, no crew. Not the best odds.”
Spock- “We will do what we have always done, Jim.
We will find hope in the impossible.”
Anabelle- *Raises both fists triumphantly*
*Bones is using “primitive” Enterprise show era equipment on Spock*
McCoy- “I'm pretty sure this is a protoplaser.
Should stop the internal hemorrhaging. At least that's my hope.”
Spock- “The miserable have no other medicine but only hope.”
McCoy- “Death's door and he's quoting Shakespeare.”
Anabelle- “That’s why we love Spock.”
On ignoring the big reveal where Ensign
Syl has the McGuffin hidden in her shellfish head:
Me- “Hey, who’s that old guy.”
Anabelle- “Some guy. Hey! There’s the girl that threw Chekov out of her cabin during Kirk’s opening diary entry.”
Me- “That was Chekov?!?!”
Anabelle- “How did not notice?”
Me- “I was l looking at foreground and noticing the green girl.”
Anabelle- “You always do this.”
On learning about Uhura’s necklace from
Spock:
Spock- “Mr. Chekov, can you reconfigure the search parameters in order to compensate for this formula?”
Anabelle- “Chekov is finally earning his science badge.”
Spock- “Lieutenant Uhura wears a Vokaya amulet which I presented to her as a token of my affection and respect.”
McCoy- “You gave your girlfriend radioactive jewelry?”
Spock- “The emission is harmless, Doctor, but its unique signature makes it very easy to identify.”
McCoy- “You gave your girlfriend a tracking device.”
Spock- “That was not my intention.”
McCoy- “I'm glad he doesn't respect me.”
Anabelle- “THE SPOCK SMIRK!!!”
Rosa- *nonstop giggling throughout the conversation*
On planning the crew’s rescue:
Spock- “Captain, Mr. Chekov's technical acumen makes him more valuable aboard the Franklin with Mr. Scott. It is thereby logical that I would replace him.”
McCoy- “Why is that logical, Spock? You just got back on your feet.”
Spock- “Lieutenant Uhura is in that facility, Jim.
Anabelle- *fans self, speaks in southern accent* “It is gettin’ steaaaaamy in here.”
On rescuing the crew:
Anabelle- *Nonstop WOO HOO! And “BANG BANG BANG!” *
On flying out on the USS Franklin:
Chekov- “Okay! All systems online.
Dilithium chambers at seventy percent and climbing.
Primary subwarp engines standing by.”
Kirk- “Mr. Sulu. You can, you know, fly this thing, right?”
Sulu- “You kidding me, sir?”
Anabelle- “We love you Mr. Sulu!”
…
Chekov- “Mr. Sulu, we have to achieve terminal welocity in order for the stabilizers to provide lift. Are you sure this drop is high enough to do that?”
Sulu- “We'll find out.”
Anabelle- “THE BESTIES!”
Kirk- “Call it, Mr. Sulu.”
Sulu- “Aye-aye, Captain. Mr. Chekov, be ready to hit the forward stabilizers full on my mark. One quarter impulse.”
Chekov- “Aye.”
Anabelle- “He’s like, yeah… this is fine.”
Sulu- “One half impulse, Mr. Chekov.”
Chekov- “Aye.”
Anabelle- “Chekov- wets pants.”
…
Sulu- “NOW MR. CHEKOV!”
*The Franklin falls, then zooms up into space*
Anabelle- “WOO HOO!!!!
*pause*
That is a funky looking ship is all I’m saying.”
Rosa- “Where are they going?”
Me- “After the swarm.”
Anabelle- “They have to save Yorktown.”
Rosa- “But they’re going to get eaten in ten seconds.”
Anabelle- “Yeah… They all die.
That’s why they didn’t make anymore.”
Rosa- *huffs*
On seeing the crowds running through
Lexington:
Anabelle- “Its…Sulu’s daughter. What was her name?”
Me- “Demora.”
Anabelle- “She is the most stylish little girl.”
On figuring out how to fight the swarm:
Kirk- “Maybe... maybe we lure them away.
How do we get to Yorktown in time to get people to safety?”
Sulu- “We are a horse and buggy compared to those things.
We're barely holding together as it is, Captain.”
Spock- “Captain, the flight patterns of bees are determined by individual decisions. Krall's swarm formations are too complex not to rely on some form of unified cyberpathic coordination. I surmise that if we...”
Anabelle- “Spock has an idea!”
Kirk- “Spock! Skip to the end.”
Uhura- “What he's saying is that if we disorient the swarm, we can kick its ass!”
Anabelle- *stands and raises both fists* “YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
On them needing someone in a swarm ship:
Spock- “Captain, my familiarity of the interior of those ships, however brief, makes me more qualified for this away mission.”
Uhura- “Spock, you're still hurt.”
Rosa- “Awww, she still cares.”
Kirk- “She's right, Spock.”
Spock- “I acknowledge and respect your concerns. Perhaps you would feel more confident if I were accompanied by someone with familiarity of both the ship and my injury.”
Kirk- “He's gonna love this.”
Anabelle- “Kirk’s like, ‘heh heh heh.”
McCoy- “You want me to do what?”
Spock- “Come along, Doctor.”
McCoy- “Whoa, wait a minute. Why, you green-blooded ingrate. This was your idea!”
Anabelle- “I love him!”
On the crew working together on the plan
to stop the swarm:
Spock- “The focus might be too specific. If we could plant some sort of disruptive communication signal inside the swarm, it might adversely affect their capacity to coordinate.”
Chekov- “It would have to be at a frequency they vill not anticipate.”
Sulu- “We could cause a chain reaction that would wipe out the whole swarm.”
Scotty- “Sir, a closed network like that might be susceptible to very high frequency.”
Kirk- “VHF. Radio. We can...
we can broadcast something from the ship to drown out their link.”
Rosa- “hmmmmmmmmmm?”
Kirk- “Something loud and distracting.”
Scotty- “Loud and distracting?”
Scotty and Anabelle with a Scottish accent- “I've got just the thing!”
Anabelle- “Hee Hee!”
*Spock and McCoy keep flying through the bees*
Anabelle- “Buzz buzz!”
On Krall seeing the Franklin:
Krall- “My old friend.”
Anabelle- *exaggerated* “Huh?
That’s weird.”
*Stares knowingly at me. *
On choosing the radio broadcast to take
out the swarm:
Chekov- “The swarm ships are doubling back! They are forming an attack wave, sir.”
Kirk- “I think we got their attention. Hold steady, Mr. Sulu.
Brace yourselves, everybody.
Spock, stand by to drop out of formation.
Scotty, you all cued up back there?”
Scotty- “Aye, sir!”
Uhura- “Ready to broadcast at 57.7 megahertz.”
Scotty- “Made your choice, lassie?”
Anabelle- “I love it when Scotty calls people ‘Lassie.’
Except when it was Uhura in the fifth movie. That was terrible.”
Jaylah- “I have the beat and shouting.”
Kirk- “Let's make some noise.”
*Beastie Boys blasts*
Kirk- “That's a good choice.”
Rosa- *Starts headbanging to the music*
Anabelle- *sings along to the instrumental parts*
On the climactic chase of Krall,
revealed to be the Captain Edison of the Franklin, through the Lexington on
ships and on foot:
Anabelle- *nearly nonstop cheering*
On Kirk catching Edison and shooting him
as he comes out of the turbolift:
Anabelle- “Bang!
Bang bang!
Bang bang bang!
*pause*
Phasers go ‘bang’.”
On Edison using weird high-altitude
gravity anomalies to get to the access point of the Lexington ventilation system
with his mini killer swarm from the McGuffin:
Edison- “You can't stop it. You will die.”
Kirk- “Better to die saving lives than to live with taking them. That's what I was born into. Scotty!”
Scotty- “Captain, I think we can redirect it.
There's a sealed construction hatch that will let you vent the weapon into space.
Now, we can override the locks from up here, but you will have to activate the hatch.”
Kirk- “So I just hit a button.”
Scotty- “It's not a button, sir. It's a silver lever under a white panel.”
Me- “There are SO MANY things that need to be manually opened in Star Trek.”
Anabelle- “Yeah, It’s part of the charm.”
*Kirk opens the hatch; Edison is pulled out into space with the mini-swarm cloud*
Anabelle- “This is fine.”
*Kirk is in danger of being sucked out*
Rosa- “They have to come with the ship to save him now.”
Anabelle- “No, he dies again.”
Rosa- “No they have to come with the ship.”
Anabelle- “Nope, Kirk dies.”
*Back and forth until Bones does show up with the ship and Spock grabs Jim*
Rosa- “HA!”
McCoy- “Woo hoo!”
Kirk- “What would I do without you Spock?”
Anabelle- *as Spock* “L.O.L. I’m quitting.”
*Edison is in space being devoured by the mini-swarm cloud*
Me- “Gonna be another dangerous space cloud now.”
Anabelle- “Eh… add it to the list.”
On Kirk’s promotion:
Admiral- “Needless to say, the position of Vice Admiral is yours. No one deserves it more.”
Kirk- “Vice Admirals don't fly, do they?”
Admiral- “No. They don't.”
Kirk- “Well, no offence, ma'am, but where's the fun in that?”
Anabelle- “KING! I love him!”
On Spock opening the photo of the
original crew during the movie era:
*Original Theme Plays*
Rosa, Anabelle and Me- “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”
Anabelle- “Look at the ugly turtlenecks!”
Me- “Plbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!”
On Kirk’s Birthday party:
McCoy- “You didn't even try to get our time out here reduced?”
Kirk- “Why would I get it reduced?
Bones, we know our way through the nebula now. Can you imagine what we'll find?”
McCoy- “Alien despots hell-bent on killing us? Deadly space-borne viruses and bacteria? Incomprehensible cosmic anomalies that could wipe us out in an instant.”
Anabelle- “I love him so much.”
Kirk- “It's gonna be so much fun. By the way, where are we going?
I thought we were gonna get a drink.”
McCoy- “I know you told me to keep it under wraps, but...”
The Entire Crew- *in civilian clothes* “Happy Birthday!”
Rosa, Anabelle and Me- “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”
…
Uhura- “I thought you had to finish your mission report.”
Spock- “I do. But I thought it would be more pleasing to engage with you socially.”
Uhura- “You old romantic.”
Anabelle- “WOO WOO!”
Chekov- *hitting on pink girl* “Do you know that scotch was actually inwented by a little old lady in Russia? Not many people know.”
Anabelle- “I love you Chekov.”
*The whole group stands together at the party, Uhura, Sulu and Chekov near each other*
Anabelle- “WOO! BESTIE Formation!!”
On the time lapse construction of the
Enterprise NCC-1701A:
Me- “Rebuilding…”
Rosa- “There was nothing left.”
Me- “Building a new one.”
Anabelle- “She’s so pretty.”
Rosa and Me- “Yeah.”
On the end speech:
Kirk- “Space, the final frontier.”
Anabelle- “YEAH!!!”
Spock- “These are the voyages of the Starship...”
Anabelle- “YEAAHH!!!”
Scotty- “Enterprise. Its continuing mission…”
Anabelle- “YEEAAAHHH!!!!”
McCoy- “to explore strange new worlds...”
Anabelle- “YEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!”
Sulu- “to seek out new life...”
Anabelle- “YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!”
Chekov- “and new civilizations.”
Anabelle- “YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Uhura- “To boldly go where no one has gone before.”
Anabelle- “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
*Sings theme song into my face*
On the Kelvin timeline:
Anabelle- “The problem is this is such a good end.
I’m in shambles crying.
But they need to make a fourth one.
Yesterday.
*pause*
I love this movie.
But the first is the best movie ever.”
Kirk- “My name is Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the United Federation of Planets. I am appearing before you as a neutral representative of the Fibonan Republic…”
Anabelle- “Throwing out the ‘Tiberius’ right at the start!”
[Note- Watch all the bloopers for this series of films, but this scene especially.]
…
*He is attacked by the tiny muscle-bound creatures and beamed up with several still clinging on*
Kirk- “I ripped my shirt again.”
Anabelle- “What…
a surprise.”
…
*Kirk brings back the McGuffin that will be important later*
Spock- “Captain, did you manage to broker a treaty with the Teenaxi?”
Anabelle- “Spock’s hair is atrocious in this movie.
Just thought I’d mention it.”
Kirk- “Captain's log, Stardate 2263.2. Today is our 966th day in deep space, a little under three years into our five-year mission. The more time we spend out here, the harder it is to tell where one day ends and the next one begins…”
Anabelle- “This one is high key a…”
*The communications officer is shown*
Anabelle- “Uhura!!! yeah!!!”
*pause*
… a diary entry.”
Kirk- “… The ship aside, prolonged cohabitation has definitely had effects on interpersonal dynamics. Some experiences for the better, and some for the worse. As for me, things have started to feel a little episodic…”
Anabelle- “Ha. Ha.”
McCoy- “I wanted to have something appropriate for your birthday.”
Kirk- “That's in a couple days. You know I don't care about that.”
McCoy- “I know. I know you don't like celebrating it on the day because it's also the day your Pa bit the dust. I was being sensitive.”
Anabelle- “Thanks for that.”
…
Kirk- “A year older than he ever got to be. He joined Starfleet because he...
he believed in it.
I joined on a dare.”
McCoy- “You joined to see if you could live up to him. You spent all this time trying to be George Kirk and now you're wondering just what it means to be Jim. Why you're out here.
*raises glass*
To perfect eyesight and a full head of hair.”
*intercom beeps*
Kirk- “Kirk here.”
Sulu- “Captain, approaching Yorktown base.”
Kirk- “I'm on my way, Mr. Sulu.
Let's keep this birthday thing under wraps, huh?”
McCoy- “Yeah, you know me. Mr. Sensitive.”
Anabelle- “I love you, Doctor McCoy.”
Anabelle- “This is pretty.
Wooow!”
Vulcan delegate- “Excuse me. Commander Spock? May we have a moment of your time?”
Anabelle- “Sad times.”
Rosa- “Why?”
Anabelle- “Watch the movie.”
…
Spock- “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Live long and prosper.”
Vulcan Delegate- “Live long and prosper.”
*Screen in his hand shows Spock Prime and 2230.06 - 2263.02.”
Rosa- “Awww…. Spock.”
Anabelle- “Ooh, he’s got his fancy outfit on to meet the Admiral.”
Anabelle- “Notice how fast they’re driving out…
I’m just saying.”
Rosa- “Just leave!”
Anabelle- “They can’t.”
*The ship takes a huge blast of damage*
Rosa- “OOOH NOO!”
Kirk- “Why the hell aren't we moving?”
Sulu- “I can't engage the warp drive, sir!”
Kirk- “Scotty, I need warp now!”
Scotty- “I cannae, sir! The nacelles,”
Anabelle- “I hate that I know that name so much.”
Scotty- “They've...They've gone!”
Rosa- *quiet* “oh!”
*ships are smashing into the Enterprise walls*
Anabelle- “AAAH! Bad bad bad bad!”
Chekov- “Sir, I have hull breaches in levels 12 to 15, 6, 9, 31 and 21, sir.”
Anabelle- “AAAAAHHH!!”
Rosa- “Oh my God!”
Anabelle- “This is so bad!”
*Spock runs into the attackers*
Spock- “I have identified the individual who appears to be leading the attack party. He infiltrated the archive vault and removed the artefact from our mission on Teenax.”
Kirk- “Hold your distance until... Spock! Spock!
Anabelle- “Spock died again!”
Kirk- “You two, with me. Sulu, you have the conn.”
Anabelle- “Yeah! He’s ready.
Notice how he put his hand on the side of the arm rest,
so he doesn’t shoot the crewman into space.”
*As the shoot out on the Enterprise continues Anabelle alternates between:
“AAAHH!”
“Woo hoo!”
And
“Bang bang bang!”
Krall- “Cut its throat.”
Anabelle- “That’s not bad at all.”
*The section holding on the secondary hull is broken off, ejecting many crew into space*
Rosa- “OH!
They’re all dead. Ooh no!”
Kirk- “We've got to get you guys to an escape pod. Go. Go! Ensign Syl, I need your help.”
Syl- “Yes, sir.”
Anabelle- “Ensign Syl! Girl Boss Queen!”
…
*Kirk runs to separate the saucer still carrying the McGuffin case*
Rosa- “Why didn’t he hide the thingy?”
Anabelle- *bluffing well* “He’s got a lot to think about at the moment.”
Me- *bluffing poorly* “What thingy?”
Anabelle- “Uhura no!”
*It separates*
“Weeeeeeee!”
*Krall is isolated from the main hull, and finds the McGuffin case is empty”
Anabelle- “Ha Ha!"
Rosa- *Looks questioningly at Anabelle*
Anabelle- “I lied”
Rosa- “I knew.”
Anabelle- “I wonder why?
*Looks back at movie*
Interesting Enterprise design feature.
How come you have to separate the saucer from 'not the saucer' part of the ship?”
Kirk- “How many of the crew are still aboard the saucer?”
Sulu- “None. But if I'm reading this correctly, the intruders are taking them.”
Chekov- “Keptin, we are caught in the planet's gravity. We cannot pull avay.”
Kirk- “Get to your Kelvin Pods.”
Anabelle- “I forgot they’re called ‘Kelvin Pods.’
Imagine being in heaven and learning they named escape pods after the ship you blew up in.”
Sulu- “Yes, sir.”
Anabelle- “Sulu is freaking out again.”
*the crew is all out and the saucer section smashes into a mountain*
Anabelle- “Enterprise really cannot catch a break.
Every movie they be blowing it up.
*pause*
Good thing this is a Class M planet…again.”
Anabelle- “I love this movie.
I don’t understand why people don’t like it.
It’s so good.”
Krall- “What is your name?”
…
Uhura- “I am Lieutenant Nyota Uhura of the U.S.S. Enterprise. And you have committed an act of war against the Federation.”
Anabelle- “YEAH! Slay!”
Krall- “Federation! Federation is an act of war.”
Uhura- “You attacked us.”
Anabelle- *as Krall* “Whaaaat? Me?
Nooooooooo.”
Anabelle- “Bestie time!”
Me- “But I thought…”
Anabelle- “No, they’re not THE Besties. But they are besties.”
*There is a GIANT metal shard sticking out of Spock’s side*
McCoy- “My God, Spock.
God, Sit down over here.
Okay. Okay, sit. Easy. Okay. Now, just try and relax.
You're gonna be okay.”
Anabelle- “This is fine.”
Spock- “The forced optimism in your voice suggests that you are trying to elicit a sense of calm in order to...”
McCoy- “Oh, cut the horses**t.”
Spock- “Doctor, I fail to see how excrement of any kind bears relevance on our current situation.”
McCoy- “What the hell are you doing?”
Spock- “We must keep moving, Doctor.”
McCoy- “Spock, this thing's punctured your iliac region.”
Spock- “Time is a critical factor.”
McCoy- “That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you. Look, if I can't take this out, you're gonna die. Okay? If I take it out and can't stop the bleeding, you're gonna die.”
Spock- “I can see no appeal in either option.”
McCoy- “Believe it or not, neither can I.
So, if I remember correctly, the Vulcans have their hearts where humans have their livers.”
Anabelle- “This Doctor McCoy knows Vulcan anatomy cause he’s a slay king.
He is also wearing the pinky ring like the real Doctor McCoy which I’ve noticed since the first one but forgot to say something about it.”
Me- “Karl Urban made Leonard Nimoy cry because he did such a good job reminding him of his old friend.”
Anabelle and Rosa- “Awwwww… Why did you tell us that?”
…
McCoy- “Okay. All right, Spock, I just got one question. What's your favorite color?”
Spock- “I fail to see the relevance.”
*Bones yanks the shrapnel and cauterizes the wound*
Spock- “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
McCoy- “Yeah. They say it hurts less if it's a surprise.”
Spock- “If I may adopt a parlance with which you are familiar,
I can confirm your theory to be horse… s**t.”
Anabelle- “I love you, Spock!”
Anabelle- “I don’t know why they changed the uniforms, but I really like these.
I mean…I liked the others too.”
*Scotty is attacked and saved by the white and black faced alien woman*
Anabelle- “Jaylah! Yaaaaay!!!”
Scotty- “You're no with those bastards that killed my ship, are you?”
Jaylah- *spits forcefully on the ground*
Anabelle- “I love her.”
Anabelle- “Ooh, they have their ‘oh no the ship is blowing up’ suits on.”
Keenser- *sneezes acid on the lock*
Sulu- “That is one heck of a cold.
Uhura- “Nice job, Keenser.”
Sulu- “All right, we got about fifteen minutes until the next guard rotation. Come on.”
Anabelle- *whispers* “THE BESTIES”
*Crosses fingers*
…
Sulu- “He's got Starfleet data files, ship logs, including the Enterprise.”
Uhura- “He's been watching us this whole time.”
*Huge squad of guards shows up*
Anabelle- “Bad.”
Anabelle- “That was… interesting.”
Me- “You mean that it took only three hand phaser blasts to take out that window?”
Anabelle- “Maybe it was already cracked.”
Me- “Yeah it took a lot of damage in the crash.”
Anabelle- “One would hope.”
Sulu- “You're going to attack Yorktown.”
Krall- “Millions of souls from every Federation world holding hands. It's a perfect target.”
Anabelle- “Yeah… Also, not a great place to live.”
Uhura- “You're wrong. There is strength in unity.”
Krall- “The strength of others, Lieutenant, is what has kept me alive.”
*Krall drains the life force out of two upsidedown crew members*
Anabelle- “He’s doing some weird thing…”
*The scene changes*
Anabelle- “Anyway.”
Spock- “Ambassador Spock has died.”
McCoy- “Oh Spock, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what that must feel like.”
Rosa- “I’m so sorry you died.”
Spock- “When you've lived as many lives as he, fear of death is illogical.”
Anabelle- “Yeah, because of that one time he actually died…”
Spock- “I want to live as he did.
That is why I decided to redirect my efforts and continue his work on New Vulcan.”
McCoy- “You're leaving Starfleet? Well, what did Jim have to say about that?”
Spock- “I could not find the time to tell him.”
McCoy- “Well, I can tell you he's not gonna like that.
Hell, I don't know what he'd do without you. I mean, me on the other hand, I'd throw a party.”
Spock- *Laughs*
Rosa- “Um…he’s smiling. That’s not good.”
Anabelle- “’Cause he’s messed up.”
Kirk- “Well... I guess you could say I've got a good nose for danger.”
*They are encased in solid smoke*
Chekov- *Shoots Kirk a look*
Anabelle- *Russian accent* “Hey, Vanna say that again Keptin?”
Kirk- “One of the first heroes of Starfleet. How the hell did his ship end up here?”
Scotty- “There's a lot of theories, sir. Surrendered to the Romulans.
Keptured by a giant green space hand…”
Anabelle- *Elbows me* “WOOOOOOOOO!!!”
McCoy- “McCoy and Spock to Enterprise crew. Come in, Enterprise crew. Anyone. Come on, Spock. Come on, you can make it.”
Anabelle- “YAY! The noise!
Beep be deep be deep boop boop”
Spock- “Leaving me behind will significantly increase your chances of survival, Doctor.”
McCoy- “Well, that's damn chivalrous of you, but completely out of the question.”
Spock- “It is imperative that you locate any surviving crew.”
McCoy- “And here I was thinking you cared.”
Spock- “Of course I care, Leonard.”
Anabelle- “Aww, Hitting him with a Leonard!”
Spock- “I always assumed my respect for you was clear.
The dialogue we have had across the years has always...”
McCoy- “It's okay, Spock. You don't have to say it.”
Rosa- “I love you!”
McCoy- “Well, at least I won’t die alone.”
*Spock beams away, leaving him to face the aliens that just arrived*
McCoy- “Well, that's just typical. Come on, you bastards!”
Anabelle- “I love him so much.”
Kirk- “All right. Lie down. Come on. There you go.
How are we gonna get out of this one, Spock?
We've got no ship, no crew. Not the best odds.”
Spock- “We will do what we have always done, Jim.
We will find hope in the impossible.”
Anabelle- *Raises both fists triumphantly*
*Bones is using “primitive” Enterprise show era equipment on Spock*
McCoy- “I'm pretty sure this is a protoplaser.
Should stop the internal hemorrhaging. At least that's my hope.”
Spock- “The miserable have no other medicine but only hope.”
McCoy- “Death's door and he's quoting Shakespeare.”
Anabelle- “That’s why we love Spock.”
Me- “Hey, who’s that old guy.”
Anabelle- “Some guy. Hey! There’s the girl that threw Chekov out of her cabin during Kirk’s opening diary entry.”
Me- “That was Chekov?!?!”
Anabelle- “How did not notice?”
Me- “I was l looking at foreground and noticing the green girl.”
Anabelle- “You always do this.”
Spock- “Mr. Chekov, can you reconfigure the search parameters in order to compensate for this formula?”
Anabelle- “Chekov is finally earning his science badge.”
Spock- “Lieutenant Uhura wears a Vokaya amulet which I presented to her as a token of my affection and respect.”
McCoy- “You gave your girlfriend radioactive jewelry?”
Spock- “The emission is harmless, Doctor, but its unique signature makes it very easy to identify.”
McCoy- “You gave your girlfriend a tracking device.”
Spock- “That was not my intention.”
McCoy- “I'm glad he doesn't respect me.”
Anabelle- “THE SPOCK SMIRK!!!”
Rosa- *nonstop giggling throughout the conversation*
Spock- “Captain, Mr. Chekov's technical acumen makes him more valuable aboard the Franklin with Mr. Scott. It is thereby logical that I would replace him.”
McCoy- “Why is that logical, Spock? You just got back on your feet.”
Spock- “Lieutenant Uhura is in that facility, Jim.
Anabelle- *fans self, speaks in southern accent* “It is gettin’ steaaaaamy in here.”
Anabelle- *Nonstop WOO HOO! And “BANG BANG BANG!” *
Chekov- “Okay! All systems online.
Dilithium chambers at seventy percent and climbing.
Primary subwarp engines standing by.”
Kirk- “Mr. Sulu. You can, you know, fly this thing, right?”
Sulu- “You kidding me, sir?”
Anabelle- “We love you Mr. Sulu!”
…
Chekov- “Mr. Sulu, we have to achieve terminal welocity in order for the stabilizers to provide lift. Are you sure this drop is high enough to do that?”
Sulu- “We'll find out.”
Anabelle- “THE BESTIES!”
Kirk- “Call it, Mr. Sulu.”
Sulu- “Aye-aye, Captain. Mr. Chekov, be ready to hit the forward stabilizers full on my mark. One quarter impulse.”
Chekov- “Aye.”
Anabelle- “He’s like, yeah… this is fine.”
Sulu- “One half impulse, Mr. Chekov.”
Chekov- “Aye.”
Anabelle- “Chekov- wets pants.”
…
Sulu- “NOW MR. CHEKOV!”
*The Franklin falls, then zooms up into space*
Anabelle- “WOO HOO!!!!
*pause*
That is a funky looking ship is all I’m saying.”
Rosa- “Where are they going?”
Me- “After the swarm.”
Anabelle- “They have to save Yorktown.”
Rosa- “But they’re going to get eaten in ten seconds.”
Anabelle- “Yeah… They all die.
That’s why they didn’t make anymore.”
Rosa- *huffs*
Anabelle- “Its…Sulu’s daughter. What was her name?”
Me- “Demora.”
Anabelle- “She is the most stylish little girl.”
Kirk- “Maybe... maybe we lure them away.
How do we get to Yorktown in time to get people to safety?”
Sulu- “We are a horse and buggy compared to those things.
We're barely holding together as it is, Captain.”
Spock- “Captain, the flight patterns of bees are determined by individual decisions. Krall's swarm formations are too complex not to rely on some form of unified cyberpathic coordination. I surmise that if we...”
Anabelle- “Spock has an idea!”
Kirk- “Spock! Skip to the end.”
Uhura- “What he's saying is that if we disorient the swarm, we can kick its ass!”
Anabelle- *stands and raises both fists* “YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”
Spock- “Captain, my familiarity of the interior of those ships, however brief, makes me more qualified for this away mission.”
Uhura- “Spock, you're still hurt.”
Rosa- “Awww, she still cares.”
Kirk- “She's right, Spock.”
Spock- “I acknowledge and respect your concerns. Perhaps you would feel more confident if I were accompanied by someone with familiarity of both the ship and my injury.”
Kirk- “He's gonna love this.”
Anabelle- “Kirk’s like, ‘heh heh heh.”
McCoy- “You want me to do what?”
Spock- “Come along, Doctor.”
McCoy- “Whoa, wait a minute. Why, you green-blooded ingrate. This was your idea!”
Anabelle- “I love him!”
Spock- “The focus might be too specific. If we could plant some sort of disruptive communication signal inside the swarm, it might adversely affect their capacity to coordinate.”
Chekov- “It would have to be at a frequency they vill not anticipate.”
Sulu- “We could cause a chain reaction that would wipe out the whole swarm.”
Scotty- “Sir, a closed network like that might be susceptible to very high frequency.”
Kirk- “VHF. Radio. We can...
we can broadcast something from the ship to drown out their link.”
Rosa- “hmmmmmmmmmm?”
Kirk- “Something loud and distracting.”
Scotty- “Loud and distracting?”
Scotty and Anabelle with a Scottish accent- “I've got just the thing!”
Anabelle- “Hee Hee!”
*Spock and McCoy keep flying through the bees*
Anabelle- “Buzz buzz!”
Krall- “My old friend.”
Anabelle- *exaggerated* “Huh?
That’s weird.”
*Stares knowingly at me. *
Chekov- “The swarm ships are doubling back! They are forming an attack wave, sir.”
Kirk- “I think we got their attention. Hold steady, Mr. Sulu.
Brace yourselves, everybody.
Spock, stand by to drop out of formation.
Scotty, you all cued up back there?”
Scotty- “Aye, sir!”
Uhura- “Ready to broadcast at 57.7 megahertz.”
Scotty- “Made your choice, lassie?”
Anabelle- “I love it when Scotty calls people ‘Lassie.’
Except when it was Uhura in the fifth movie. That was terrible.”
Jaylah- “I have the beat and shouting.”
Kirk- “Let's make some noise.”
*Beastie Boys blasts*
Kirk- “That's a good choice.”
Rosa- *Starts headbanging to the music*
Anabelle- *sings along to the instrumental parts*
Anabelle- *nearly nonstop cheering*
Anabelle- “Bang!
Bang bang!
Bang bang bang!
*pause*
Phasers go ‘bang’.”
Edison- “You can't stop it. You will die.”
Kirk- “Better to die saving lives than to live with taking them. That's what I was born into. Scotty!”
Scotty- “Captain, I think we can redirect it.
There's a sealed construction hatch that will let you vent the weapon into space.
Now, we can override the locks from up here, but you will have to activate the hatch.”
Kirk- “So I just hit a button.”
Scotty- “It's not a button, sir. It's a silver lever under a white panel.”
Me- “There are SO MANY things that need to be manually opened in Star Trek.”
Anabelle- “Yeah, It’s part of the charm.”
*Kirk opens the hatch; Edison is pulled out into space with the mini-swarm cloud*
Anabelle- “This is fine.”
*Kirk is in danger of being sucked out*
Rosa- “They have to come with the ship to save him now.”
Anabelle- “No, he dies again.”
Rosa- “No they have to come with the ship.”
Anabelle- “Nope, Kirk dies.”
*Back and forth until Bones does show up with the ship and Spock grabs Jim*
Rosa- “HA!”
McCoy- “Woo hoo!”
Kirk- “What would I do without you Spock?”
Anabelle- *as Spock* “L.O.L. I’m quitting.”
*Edison is in space being devoured by the mini-swarm cloud*
Me- “Gonna be another dangerous space cloud now.”
Anabelle- “Eh… add it to the list.”
Admiral- “Needless to say, the position of Vice Admiral is yours. No one deserves it more.”
Kirk- “Vice Admirals don't fly, do they?”
Admiral- “No. They don't.”
Kirk- “Well, no offence, ma'am, but where's the fun in that?”
Anabelle- “KING! I love him!”
*Original Theme Plays*
Rosa, Anabelle and Me- “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”
Anabelle- “Look at the ugly turtlenecks!”
Me- “Plbbbbbbbbbbbbbbth!”
McCoy- “You didn't even try to get our time out here reduced?”
Kirk- “Why would I get it reduced?
Bones, we know our way through the nebula now. Can you imagine what we'll find?”
McCoy- “Alien despots hell-bent on killing us? Deadly space-borne viruses and bacteria? Incomprehensible cosmic anomalies that could wipe us out in an instant.”
Anabelle- “I love him so much.”
Kirk- “It's gonna be so much fun. By the way, where are we going?
I thought we were gonna get a drink.”
McCoy- “I know you told me to keep it under wraps, but...”
The Entire Crew- *in civilian clothes* “Happy Birthday!”
Rosa, Anabelle and Me- “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”
…
Uhura- “I thought you had to finish your mission report.”
Spock- “I do. But I thought it would be more pleasing to engage with you socially.”
Uhura- “You old romantic.”
Anabelle- “WOO WOO!”
Chekov- *hitting on pink girl* “Do you know that scotch was actually inwented by a little old lady in Russia? Not many people know.”
Anabelle- “I love you Chekov.”
*The whole group stands together at the party, Uhura, Sulu and Chekov near each other*
Anabelle- “WOO! BESTIE Formation!!”
Me- “Rebuilding…”
Rosa- “There was nothing left.”
Me- “Building a new one.”
Anabelle- “She’s so pretty.”
Rosa and Me- “Yeah.”
Kirk- “Space, the final frontier.”
Anabelle- “YEAH!!!”
Spock- “These are the voyages of the Starship...”
Anabelle- “YEAAHH!!!”
Scotty- “Enterprise. Its continuing mission…”
Anabelle- “YEEAAAHHH!!!!”
McCoy- “to explore strange new worlds...”
Anabelle- “YEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!”
Sulu- “to seek out new life...”
Anabelle- “YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!”
Chekov- “and new civilizations.”
Anabelle- “YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Uhura- “To boldly go where no one has gone before.”
Anabelle- “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
*Sings theme song into my face*
Anabelle- “The problem is this is such a good end.
I’m in shambles crying.
But they need to make a fourth one.
Yesterday.
*pause*
I love this movie.
But the first is the best movie ever.”
3 comments:
the end of an era
(the era of me laughing at how funny I am and also wanting to watch star trek again)
if any readers are curious whether or not the amount of times I scream and cheer like a banshee during these is exaggerated, I genuinely think it's less than I actually yelled...oops
Those are both excellent eras. May they return.
Those are definitely not exaggerated, yes they are under reported because I can only type so fast. Thank you again for making this fun.
love
Daddy
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